EVERYTHING IS NOT WHAT IT SEEMS🥺💔

Am I the only one who’s sitting in the ducks?🥺

An I the only one trying to handle things that just seem to be slipping out of my control?😢

Am I the only one questioning where I’m at and what I’m doing?😔

Because I’d honestly hate to believe that I’m one of those incompetent and lazy kids who don’t know what to do with themselves.😳

I’m a sixteen year old and I’m in university. In a lot of places I shouldn’t even have graduated from high school. But I’m here, in a university known for its ability to either make or mar the destinies of its students. (I emphasis greatly on the “mar”); trying to hard to juggle my social and academic life.

AND THINGS AREN’T JUST WORKING!!!!😖😖

I’m hiding behind the mantra that “everything will get better”, and it makes me really edgy.

Because things don’t always get better. And it scares me.😪

I’m trying so hard not to crumble beneath the stress of trying not to disappoint the ones I love 💕 

But I can’t seem to get it right.

And it drives me mad 😠

Because much to popular opinion, I’m not handling things okay. I’m not living the perfect universe life. I’m never even particularly happy unless I’m spending time with the ones that I cherish.

It’s a known fact that most people will rather eat dust than admit that everything isn’t chicken 🍗 and meat pie 🥧 

But I can’t keep lying to myself. I need help. And I’m having a hard time getting it.

I’m alone now.😿 and I’m not so confident about it.

But... despite all this... fears and obstacles and worries that have rooted themselves in my path, I’ll still do what I must.😤

Because this isn’t about me getting out with a really good grade or whatever, it’s about my survival, and how the world will accept me once I have left the four walls of an educational facility 😴😴

( this is usually how I tell myself things will get better)😽😽

But I can only hope. And if you’re reading this, and you feel exactly the same way?💁🏽‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️

I hope things get better for you too 💕